Bio-Mechanical
by Slayer of Spies
Summary: He was the last of his kind, adrift a now-foreign land, with only his technology, wits, and skill keeping him alive. She was a girl with a love for chaos, a knack with robots, and a lust for loot. This is their tale.
1. Chapter 1

_**Eridian Promontory, Pandora**_

_**XX008, May 21**__**st**__**\**_

_Damn, my head hurts._

_Eugh, has it been the correct time?_

_Usually this doesn't have such a toll._

All of these were thoughts running through Elistair's mind. He had barely enough time to activate the Hydronix Cryostablizer before those damnable Sirens came barging in and would deactivate it if he had not set the proper locks. As he awoke, hundreds of skeletons, Eridian and Siren, were littering the floors. How on Pandora this could be, he was not sure. He _did_ set it to 40000 clicks, which was not nearly enough time for an Eridian body to decompose like such. Immediately, he unsheathed his cannon, scanning for any signs of Siren activity. No such luck, as signs of life were barren save for his.

_Holy Cr'iptarras. How long was I asleep?_

He looked through the skeletons, seeing some of his former bodyguards and friends in various piles and places, even a few draped on the ceiling (Elistair didn't focus for too long on how that happened). Amongst them all were the occasional Siren bones, still bearing the deep tattoos of their kind. He hoped the Soul-Bind that was being implemented on Edenis-6 was finished by now, for the these brutes were quite definitely the worst scum the universe had to offer. Suddenly, the old, old voice of the Bio-Computer started up.

"**CRY0STABLIZER DEACTIVATED. OUTSIDE SHIELDS AT .1%, AND CRITICAL. OUTER PALACE HULL AT CRITICAL DAMAGE CAPACITY. WELCOME BACK, LORD ELISTAIR.**"

"And welcome to you too, Computer. How long have I been in cryo-sleep?"

"**APPROXMIATELY 900000000 CLICKS.**"

_Oh no._ No wonder his head hurt so badly: He had been knocked out for so long, the infrastructure of the entire place had become worn and weary! The cryo-tubes were probably needing a huge replacement as well, considering they went far beyond the max time needed before such a repair… Elistair knew what he had to do next; there was a planet out there, and he was going to have to confront it if he wanted to find a way to the homeworld.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Moxxi's Red Light, Sanctuary**_

_**XX013, September 13**__**th**_

It was another day at the Red Light for Gaige. Her fellows would always say she was 'too young' for such strong drink, but hell, Gaige barely drank the stuff. What she really came for, was Hammerlock. Aw, what wonderful shine his glasses held, for they certainly held _her_ in wonder. Of course, she was far too scared of rejection from such a fine gentleman as Hammerlock to actually do more than casually sneak glances at his illustrious form and gleaming metallic hand. The voice of a far-too familiar and sultry tune woke her up from her trance.

"You gonna pay, sugar, or just sit there all pretty-like?" It was "Mad" Moxxi, asking for the usual 20 credits that most patrons were accustomed to, even if it was a tad expensive for such terrible liquor.

"Yeah, yeah, here ya go." Gaige shambled the cash over to the owner, and continued to attempt the act of swallowing the awful firewater. Heck, even the stuff from that Zaford refinery had a better flavor than this! _Ew! How can… Oh wait, that's why._ Gaige quickly recalled that most of the Crimson Raiders had probably lost their tongues to bullets, bandits, or worse in their time against Handsome Jack, and really couldn't realize there was far better. Man, she hated this place sometimes. While Salvador and Zero were cool, nobody was honestly capable to know the difference between a flex-carbide capacitor and a screwdriver (Except that Tannis woman, but she scared Gaige half to death)! After downing the flavor-barren drink, Gaige flipped through her ECHO device to look for a quest to get her mind of that dreamy Hammerlock.

_Bored, bored, boredboredbored. So very bored._ All the quests were grey, indicating they were completed. What a terrible day, and no one to complain to because the rest of the group was off killing bandits back at the Bloodshot Dam! _Ugh! Nothing to do! _Well, except one thing. Gaige smirked at what her mind had come up with, and quickly ran to the Fast-Travel hub.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Somewhere by Overlook**_

_**XX013, September 13**__**th**_

_Damn it. No power towers. What the hell happened with these humans and our technology?_

The thought kept running through Elistair's head. These humans who had congregated on his palace-world had ruined most of the structure, and somehow had erased most of the water on the planet. The water, being millions of helions, was the most frightening of it all, seeing as how not even his society was capable of such things… Elistair shook the thought from his mind. It had been a few nanoclicks, and thus he was just probably reaching the end, and the worst, of his cryo-sickness.

_Nothing too serious. I got nothing to worry about, because it's not like the humans are gonna drain all the—It's happening again…_

The damnable thoughts would not end, seeing as how they would. Suddenly, as Elistair wandered forward under the now-setting sun. The feeling of the temperature dropping was relaxing, seeing as he had just drank the last of his portable water tank. But, looking over at the horizon, he could see some form of mechanical vehicle the locals he saw before were driving. Maybe there were more of those humans that he had found so joyful to slay? He wasn't sure. But one thing was certain: He was gonna find something.

_Okay, shields up._

The sound of energy forming around his lithe frame crackled around him.

_Initiate beam swords._

Shoop! The sound of pure energy pouring from his lower set of hands made him feel like he was in Edenis-6 all over again…

_Alright, this is it. Keep it together, Elistair. This is just like training, juussst like training…_

The Eridian prepared his wings. A single spread, the feeling of wind churning through his gossamer fibers, was exhilarating. Then, the push from ground to air, and he prepared for what was sure to be in inevitable fight….


	4. Chapter 4

_**Old Look River, Overlook**_

_**XX013, September 13**__**th**_

Gaige knew the spot well. Not a lot of people could claim it existed (seeing as how most civilized folk were worried more about bandits than some silly river-side escape), and the Mechromancer loved it. She would often come here to relax, or think about how she could upgrade Deathtrap, or what her next mission would be, etc. But for now, it was just to get Hammerlock off her mind. After a few quick checks to make sure not a soul was around, Gaige quickly went into the cover of some bushes, and changed into her swimwear, something not a single mortal soul was allowed to see. It was quaint, with an overarching grey tone, with some of her classic light grey stripes. Gaige thought it was fine enough, considering nobody was going to see her. But just as she had finished getting it on, she felt… _Hot._

_Oh god, not here! Ugh, why does it always happen at _this _place?_

Casually, Gaige decided it would be best to get this _problem_ off her hands before trying to swim, especially with the water looking so cool. She slipped a couple of fingers into her lower piece, letting out a slight moan as she felt her digits enter her sex. God, this felt good for her, and soon her mind slipped into thoughts of Hammerlock, his robotic arm, and his manly voice, with him overtaking her. Her hand quickly got faster, making audible schlepping sounds as she thought of her crush slipping his cock inside her, slow and purposefully. Gaige then grabbed her breast, tweaking the nipple in effort to bring her climax faster. She could just construct how Hammerlock would be acting, feeling just as hot as she did now, and—Then it hit her.

"_OhmygoshohmygoshohmygoshHammerlockohgodyesyesyesyesyesyes!"_

It was such an explosive climax, that Gaige couldn't help but scream. Her female liquids were running down her legs, and covered her fingers, pooling down below her snatch. She quietly remarked how lucky she was nobody was around to hear her like this, otherwise she most likely would have gotten a stern talking-to. At least, until _something_ pounced upon her, and ruined her afterglow, causing her to scream in terror, and try to draw her SMG.

"_Get off me, you friggin' butt-ugly—"_

The creature put some kind of light-beam towards her neck.

"_I doubt you can grasp what I am, little human. Now, tell me: Who are you, and where are your reinforcements?"_

"_R-Reinforcements? L-look, I'm not here for trouble, just here to have a swim, o-okay? Now, if you just let me go—"_

"_Hah! Like I'd let you go. You are a foreign species on this planet, meaning you have invaded a Class-S Palace world. That is usually punishable by death, but since you are in such a vulnerable state, I'll—"_

"_Deathtrap! Arise!"_

The beast was clearly no match for her mechanical engineering prodigy, as it was heftily swung aside, landing with a splash into the river. Of course, the creature was very quick to adept, hastily re-creating it's energy swords, and morphing (Gaige wasn't sure what it did) what could only be an Eridian weapon like the ones she'd seen in Roland's vault. But dang, when Gaige heard tales from Mordo and Brick about these weapons shooting lightning and crazy balls of energy, she didn't think she'd ever see it in real life! Damn, for a bunch of crazy alien bugs, these things were impressive. But Gaige had been told the Eridians were all dead…

Hell, this one wasn't dead, and it was far too regal and not-dead looking like in the few pictures they had of the Eridian Promontory. But a more pressing nature creeped up to mind: She was still naked, and really wasn't in a position to fight, especially with Deathtrap close to disappearing. Her mind raced for a solution….


End file.
